I won't.
It's easy to shout, "This country is over!" when you're born somewhere. I did it myself before I left my home country.
Confession: I was just playing victim: a convenient excuse that felt like insight. Back then, I had my justifications ready: If I don't have the power to change anything, what else can I say? Young and stupid, I thought that logic was airtight. And maybe it was, but only for someone not yet willing to take responsibility.
I don't think that way anymore. I can't, actually. Now that I chose to become a citizen here, a decision that meant giving up something permanent, it sounds... well, too young and stupid and I'm not that young to be forgiven.
My country doesn't allow dual citizenship, so by naturalizing elsewhere, I surrendered my birthright (feels like taken away, but I digress). There's no going back. That weight, or the finality of it makes playing the victim feel hollow now. Embarrassing, to be honest. I can't betray a choice I made with full knowledge of what I was giving up.
This makes facing the current chaos infinitely harder. With no escape hatch, no "home" to retreat to, I'm left with only one option. Resist. Go to street for exercising my rights. And I often get racial profiling from both parties. My skin color pushed me into one category. I get ignored when people asking "Are you a registered voter?" No one ever asked me. I get yelled at on the street, "Go back to your country!" This is my country, you xenophobia.
So when it rains and no one can tell, I cry, shout to the sky with a prayer-like plea: "Oh my soul, be strong, be stronger!"